I woke up this morning with a big, ugly cloud over my head. Not just a cloud blocking the sun, the proverbial cloud that’s been frequenting my world a bit too often as of late. I consider myself a pretty free spirit, an optimist, the girl that always wears a smile even when she doesn’t feel like it. Unfortunately, it seems my free spirit has been misplaced in the pocket of some jeans and run through the wash cycle one too many times lately. Life has a way of distracting us from what really matters doesn’t it? It tries to get us to focus on ourselves, our needs, our wants…and before we know it we have a major case of the blah’s.
I find myself comparing my work to others, only to feel “not good enough.” Jealousy creeps in as I watch so many of my friends have children, a deep rooted desire in my life that’s not in the cards as of today. The for sale sign in my front yard daily reminds me that I still live in Greenfield IN, not the most desirable place for a soul with wanderlust. As much as I love what I do for a living, I constantly have a nagging feeling that I’m not making as much of positive impact in the world as I’d like. I could go on, but you’d be bored, and my struggles aren’t really the point here.
On second thought, I don’t actually have a point, or at least not an agenda. I guess I just wanted to be honest with you. It’s been a rough season here, but I’m optimistic that the sun will shine again. We all try to look like we have it together, that we are immune to life’s challenges. We fake a facade with a smile even when our hearts are frowning. But we are all human, and we all hurt from time to time, and it’s ok. It’s healthy to reveal our weaknesses, after all, we all have them. My life has been richly blessed with amazing friends, family, and the freedom to express and create…all of which I sadly take for granted more often than I should. When the blah’s strike, I love to run to “my happy place,” a place that always inspires and reminds me of what matters most. Nature has an enormous ability to sooth and heal. I recently took my camera to my happy place and captured some glimpses of it, but to my surprise I spent more time soaking in the moment. It was powerful and rejuvenating beyond words or images. I was going to share a few images, but realized that they weren’t as powerful alone as they were all together. Together, they represent an overall mood and energy.
So even as I write this, my heart is filled with warmth and reminded of the power of positive thinking, being vulnerable, and finding inspiration in the simple things of life. I’m thankful for all of you, for listening (if you made it this far), for your hearts, your friendship, and your honesty.
Much love, a.
by natanda
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